When we feel angry we usually strike out or flee as our feelings are hurt. Even if our heart is soft, it happens so fast that we don’t even catch that softness. Instead, all we think about is how to get even and it has a very hard quality to it. We use words or actions to escape the uncomfortable feelings and we create more anger.
Patience can help us at this point; we stop and wait. We are furious, we are not suppressing anything but we continue to let go of our internal dialogue. We learn to develop patience and hold the edginess of the energy of anger.
By examining this process experientially we learn that there is no resolution. The resolution we look for comes from mistakenly wanting to get away from the situation. When we feel powerful energy, we tend to be extremely uncomfortable until things are resolved in some kind of secure and comforting way. However, practicing patience, gives us nothing to hold on to.
Pema Chodron suggests:
Patience is an enormously wonderful and supportive and even magical practice. It’s a way of completely changing the fundamental human habit of trying to resolve things by going either to the right or the left, calling things right or calling things wrong. It’s the way to develop courage, the way to find out what life is really about.
By practicing patience we can learn to wait, experience the anger and investigate its nature.