Our patterns, thoughts and beliefs with our relationships to our families, our wealth, our society, and ourselves have caused us many problems and suffering. Learning to identify and work with these habitual patterns is the key to transforming our relationships.
Here are three steps to assist the process of transformation
- Notice what you are doing. Pay attention to how you respond habitually to any event in your life.
- Do something different. Consider responding to the event in a very different way. This will loosen up the pattern.
- Make it a way of life. Keep doing something different. This will bring about your own wisdom, strength and fundamental goodness of hearth and mind.
Pema Choldron suggests:
Whenever you see yourself spinning off in some kind of habitual way, you could aspire to catch yourself and do something different as a way of cultivating compassion for yourself and compassion for others. But don’t be surprised or give up when it’s difficult.
It takes courage to undertake this journey; however, it will open up different options so that we can choose to do it the habitual way that causes us suffering or choose a fresh alternative that transforms us along the way.